Mother's Day Musings...
Mother's come in every shape, size, demeanor, and general profile. I chose not to be a "traditional" mother. I just never "felt that urge". However, my mother has always been that wonderful "traditional" working mother. My friends used to joke that our family was the modern day "Cleaver Family" - T.K. being Ward, and Pamcakes being June.I'm lucky to have them both. They raised me well, and they loved me completely (still do!). Today, being Mother's Day, I wish a very happy, relaxing day (Pamcakes loves her spa days!) to my mom. Happy Mother's Day, mom.
I am also blessed to be considered "Auntie Kerri" to two gorgeous, loving and extraordinary girls (Lauren and Lindsey). Godmother is a role I take seriously, and am grateful to have been offered!
Still, on this Mother's Day, I find myself feeling equal parts grateful and sad. As I mentioned, I have my own mother, and my Goddaughters to be grateful for. However, I miss my grandmothers, Maxine (mom's mom) and Clara (dad's mom) - both women who helped shape my life, albeit in different ways. And, I miss my baby boy Seamus (14 yrs 3 mos when we said goodbye).Grandma Joy (Maxine) taught me to love to think, play, question, and enjoy life for life's sake.
I have many memories of life with her - playing "Old Maid", watching "The Muppet Show" (born is my love for John Denver!), doing "latch-hook" designs, eating chilled Hershey bars out of her fridge and wondering which animal mug I would get for the evening.One memory is a silly one, and is of us shopping for my birthday. Grandma scolded me for continuously looking at the price tags. Birthdays, were for indulging in what you want, Kerri. That year, I got a mint green and white striped shirt - I was the coolest girl around (in my mind!). You guess the year!!Sadly, my memories of Gram K (Clara) are less vivid, until the later years in her life. I do remember visiting her and admiring the flowers in the bed outside of their home.
Gram K was not known to be much of a talker, but I also remember taking Riley to the nursing home once or twice, and seeing Gram K tentatively and gently petting my boy (who adored the attention!).It was in the nursing home where she showed her biting sense of humor (cattiness about the "Senior Prom" at the nursing home - that was a good one!). Spunk - Gram K had spunk!I also remember being the only person to eulogize my Gram K after she ultimately decided to join my Grandpa Harvey in the afterlife. It was the single most difficult thing I had chosen to do in my young life (I was in my mid-twenties) - so much so that I wavered back and forth until the last second. I still remember looking at my cousin Johnny at one point and COMPLETELY LOSING IT. That may have fed into my fear of public speaking - which I still have today!Tonight, as I sit here thinking about the powerful female influences in my life (many, many not mentioned before - like my aunts, my cousins, my friends, my colleagues, etc.), I also think about my new role as being a mom to one beautiful pooch (Riley) instead of two (Riley AND Seamus).
I have cried many, many tears for my beautiful baby boy, Seamus, whom I will never, ever forget. In a different way than giving Gram K's eulogy, deciding to let go of Seamus when he needed to be let go of, but before I was ready to let go was the most difficult test in my life. One day, we will be reconnected in the afterlife, and the hugs will be awkwardly long and filled with extreme love.
But, until then, I will continue to miss him, while thoroughly enjoying my time with my Riley-bear. I will relish my role as "mother" of a furry, four-footed delight named Riley. I will also cherish the women in my life who have given motherly love to human, furry, scale-skinned (I'm looking at you, Rachel!), etc "children" alike. You're all wonderful in your own ways, ladies!xoxo,Ker